


Wtf is wrong with you people?

by lexzo



Category: IT 2017, IT2019 - Fandom
Genre: Bi Bill Denbrough, Eddie Kaspbrak is not straight, F/M, Gay Disaster Richie Tozier, Georgie is alive, HOMOPHOBIC LANGUGE, I’ll keep tagging as I go, Losers Club Group Chat, M/M, Pan Stanley Uris, Rated T for Trashmouth, Reddie, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Has ADHD, Richie be like “I may have fucked your mom but I wish it was you”, Stenbrough, Texting, They’re like 16/17, Uhh I’m bad at tagging?, Underaged Smoking, beverly Marsh and Richie Tozier are best friends, eddie Kaspbrak and Bill Denbrough are best friends, eddie Kaspbrak used Ben Hanscom to vent, fuck pennywise!, im bored so I’m not tagging anymore :), it just comes out as “I fucked your mom you fucking asshole go fuck yoruself”, little bit o’ angst, more tags, or that’s what he means to say, pining. Hopeless. Pining., tbh I’m surprised at what I’ve written, teen losers club (IT), there’s swearing because bitch Whatd you expect?, wait no. Don’t do that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexzo/pseuds/lexzo
Summary: I was bored, now I’m writing an IT fanfic/chatfic because I have an obsession. You’re welcomeRich The Bitch: Is avocado skin edible?Eds: StfuStaniel: Go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep.That Bitch Bev: Oranges are lemonyRich the Bitch: Hell yeah!
Relationships: Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon/Derry, Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Wowza

Richie woke up from his two hours of sleep, and heads to school. He has that APUSH test that he ‘forgot’ to study for, but really, when does the Trashmouth study? He laughs to himself and walks over to the bench the Losers usually meet at.  
THE LOSERS CLUB™️ 7:30AM  
Eds: are you guys there yet?  
Trashmouth: Just for you ;)  
Eds: stfu Tichie  
The Bird man: Richie*  
Eds: Oh shit  
[Trashmouth changed his name to Titchie]  
Eds: I didn’t add the T shithead  
Titchie: I did!  
Bevvy: Yes Titch!  
[The Bird Man changed Titchies name to ‘vexatious Richie’]  
Vexatious Richie: No.  
[Vexatious Richie changed their name to Rich the Bitch]  
Bevvy: Oh hell yeah!

Best Bro’s  
Trash: I’m gonna tell them  
Stan The Man: are you sure?  
Trash: It’s junior year, and they should know.  
Stan The Man: Alright, Rich. 

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
8:00 AM

Rich The Bitch: I am the keeper of incredibly important information.  
The Bird Man: Thats one way to go about it. 

Eds: Beep Beep.

Rich The Bitch: I didn’t even say anything..

Eds: Exactly. 

Rich The Bitch: Sorry for wasting your time.

The Bird Man: Richard! Turn your ass a round right now. Where are you going?

Rich The Bitch: I’m skipping.

Eds: Wait, Richie, I didn’t mean it

Rich The Bitch: It’s fine. 

Bevvy: You can tell us anything!

Rich The Bitch: I know.

[Rich The Bitch left the chat]

B-B-Bill: He left without being kicked... 

The Bird Man: Eddie! Don’t you ever think before you talk? That kids walls are near impossible to breach, but every time you say anything it slips through the cracks, he actually had something to tell you all and now we don’t know where he is.

Eds: He says dumb random shit all the time how was I supposed to know?!

Bevvy: I’ll go find him

The Bird man: Thanks Beverly. 

Eds: please 

The Arcade was filled with its usual sounds, pinging, buzzing, and mechanical voices, Richie loved it. He was halfway through his quarters and seven wins into street fighter. K.O flashed across the screen as Beverly came through the door.  
“Richard!” She yells in his ear  
“Goddam! Bev! What do you want?”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah... no... maybe? I’ll be okay eventually.” Richie says quietly  
“Cmon Trashmouth.” She replies and leads the way out the door.  
They walk in silence towards the clubhouse.  
“Bev? Can I tell you something?” He asks, nervously.  
“Of Course, Rich!”  
“Would you believe me if I said I liked one of the losers?”  
“This is how you decide to tell me you’re gay?” Beverly laughs  
“Well, that, and the fact that I actually do like one of the losers...”  
“Damn” Beverly shakes her head and lights a cigarette. “Here”  
“Why thank you m’lady!” Richies Awful accent causes them to both break out in fits of laughter. 

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
5:07 PM

[Bevvy Added Richie Tozier to the group]

[Richie Tozier changed their name to Toaster]

Toaster: I’m back bitches!

The Bird Man: Just when I got used to the peace and quiet.

[Toaster changed The Bird Mans name to Staniel]

Toaster: That’s Richiephobic. 

Staniel: What are you going to do about it?

[Staniel Changed Toasters name to Vexatious Trashmouth]

Vexatious Trashmouth: What is it with you and “Vexatious”?

Staniel: It suits you.

Vexatious Trashmouth: That gives me an idea...

[Vexatious Trashmouth Changed their name to Vexatious Homosexual]

Staniel: Way to go Richie!

[B-B-Bill is online]

B-B-Bill: That makes so much sense! I’m glad you told us Rich!

Vexatious Homosexual: It needs to be shorter. 

[Vexatious Homosexual Changed their name to Toaster]

Toaster: I like this one

Staniel: If you’re the toaster where’s the bread?

Toaster: Mrs K. Duh.

[Eds Is online]  
Eds: Not funny dickwad

Bevvy: Eddie! You missed it! Scroll up!

Eds: Ok...

[Toaster Changed their name to Rich The Bitch]

[Rich The Bitch Changed Bevvys name to  
That Bitch Bev]

That Bitch Bev: We match!

B-B-Bill: That’s a bad word 

Rich the Bitch: Georgie?

That Bitch Bev: Don’t repeat anything you see here 

B-B-Bill: Hi richie!

Rich The Bitch: G Man! What’s up?

B-B-Bill: Whats “Homosexual”

Eds: So that’s what I missed... Hello Georgie

Staniel: Georgie! I’m coming over!

B-B-Bill: See you stan

B-B-Bill: I’m back sry abt him :-3  
Rich The Bitch: You fucking furry!

Staniel: Bill, stop.

[Rich The Bitch changed B-B-Bills name to Furry]

Furry: UwU

That Bitch Bev: lmao this is great

Eds: Is no one going to acknowledge everything?

[Mikey is online]

Mikey: I’m proud of you richie

Rich The Bitch: Thanks man

Furry: Eddie r u ok? :3

[Haystack is online]

That Bitch Bev: BEN!!!

Haystack: Hey Bevvy <3

Rich The Bitch: We Stan Ben

Mikey: Yeah we do!

That Bitch Bev: <333

Haystack: Aww thank you guys

The Losers Club™️  
3:20 AM

Rich The Bitch: is avocado skin edible?

Eds: Stfu. 

Staniel: Go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep.

That Bitch Bev: Oranges are lemony

Rich The Bitch: Hell yeah

Staniel: Leave me alone!


	2. Before I continue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not completely sure how this works yet so don’t give up on me!

Im going to try and post at least once every week, I’m not sure how this works yet so yeah, leave comments? Idk sorry XD have a good day


	3. Eddie is NOT STRAIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny Eddie: I AM NOT STRAIGHT  
> Big Bill: Your shorts gave it away  
> Tiny Eddie: Whats wrong with my shorts?!  
> Big Bill: They are short
> 
> TW for homophobic language. heh, i forgot to add that

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
5:40AM Tuesday:

Rich The Bitch: CAN I SAY SOMETHING CRAZY?  
Eds: No.  
That Bitch Bev: I LOVE CRAZY  
Staniel: STOP  
Furry: MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A SERIES OF DOORS IN MY FACE  
Rich The Bitch: AND THEN SUDDENLY I RUN INTO YOU!  
Eds: Did they watch Frozen..?  
Staniel: Is there any other explanation?  
That Bitch Bev: I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING ‘CAUSE  
Mikey: What has brought this living hell upon us?  
Haystack: way to go guys!! <3  
[Rich The Bitch changed furry’s name to Boss Bitch Billiam]  
Staniel: Please, stop this madness?  
Boss Bitch Billiam: IVE BEEN SEARCHING MY WHOLE LIFE TO FIND MY OWN PLACE!  
Rich The Bitch: MAYBE ITS THE PARTY TALKIN  
That Bitch Bev: OR THE CHOCOLATE FONDU!

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
8:00AM

Staniel: Quarry after school?  
Rich the Bitch: Hell yeah!  
Boss Bitch Billiam: That sounds gr  
Rich the Bitch: MRS GREY SNATCHED HIS PHONE! AHAHDBWKNS  
That Bitch Bev: LMAOOO  
Eds: Guys, stfu!  
Rich the Bitch: Come on Eds, lighten up!  
That Bitch Bev: Don’t call me that!  
Staniel: Dont call me that!  
Haystack: Dont call me that!  
Mikey: don’t call me that  
Boss Bitch Billiam: Dont call me that! -Mrs Grey  
Eds: Not my fucking name!  
Rich The Bitch: Oh shit... I will be a good student and turn off my electronic device, sorry for the misunderstanding  
[Everyone goes offline]

Richie taps the table, that was entertaining  
“Richard, Hand it over” Mrs Grey’s raspy voice shrieks  
“I’m not on it, so there’s no point.”  
“You insufferable-“  
“That’s not what your husband said last night” Richie winks and immediately gets sent to the principles office  
“Well, shit.”  
He walks through the halls and notices the one and only Henry Bowers.  
“Well, Faggot, I’m sure you’d be pleased to know, at lunch, we’re outing your secret.” He says, laughing  
“Poor little witchie” Patrick Howls  
“Oh well!” Vic delights  
“Um, I’m going to have to pass...”  
“Wouldn’t want your friends to know?” Belch asks with a smug expression.  
“It’s not that, I just can’t make it, anything put on by you dimwits is going to crash and burn, no one would pay attention anyway”  
Henry lunges, Richie Stumbles backwards and runs.

Best Bros  
12:00PM

Stan The Man: Where are you?  
Trash: Arcade.  
Stan the Man: Why, the fuck?  
Trash: Nothing. Is Bowers on the stage?  
Stan the Man: Yes, why?  
Trash: No reason, just sit back and watch the show. 

Smoking Buddies  
12:10PM

Bev: Richie, are you okay?  
Rich: Yeah.  
Bev: where are you?  
Rich: I’m at the arcade  
Bev: why? He misses you ;)))  
Rich: sureee  
Bev: no seriously  
Bev: he won’t stop whining  
Rich: that’s just Eddie  
Bev: Good point  
Bev: but still  
Rich: Watch the Bowers show, let me play street fighter in peace!  
Bev: Itd be my honor! Meet me by the gate after school  
Rich: I’ll be there, Bye Bev <3  
Bev: <3

The Bowers gang stood on the stage. Where’s Richie?!  
“Hello, i, Henry, have some important information about a certain kid, with glasses, and honors classes”  
“Where’s Richie?” Eddie snaps at Beverly  
“He’s at the Arcade” Stan Whispers  
“Why the fuck is he at the arcade?”  
“He didn’t say” Bev answers  
Eddie hated being in the dark, why did THEY get to talk to him?  
Henry Stands on the stage with his goons, “He really is, a queer fairy! I learned as much while in the- uh..” he looks at a slip of paper, “Arcade!”  
So, that’s why he’s not here...

Bankruptcy!  
Tiny Eddie: Bill  
Big Bill: Eddie  
Tiny Eddie: I AM NOT STRAIGHT  
Big Bill: Your shorts gave it all away  
Tiny Eddie: Whats wrong with my shorts!?  
Big Bill: they’re just shoooort!  
Big Bill: besides, It’s obvious you like Richie  
Tiny Eddie: Just like it’s obvious you like stan?  
Big bill: Exactly- hey!  
Tiny Eddie: whoops.

“Stop texting, you guys are right next to each other!” Stanley retorts  
“Sorry.” Eddie mumbles. Did he really just out himself? That’s... something  
Beverly smirks, and stands up, she always seems to know what’s going on “Well, I’m going to go find Richie! Bye guys!”  
“Bye” Ben looks longingly at her.


	4. What could go wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That took a turn for the worse

“Richard!” Beverly yells as she throws rocks at Richies window   
He opens the window dodging a rock  
“To what do I owe this visit Marshmallow?”  
“Nothing. Just get down here, Asshole”  
Richie walks out the front door with a cigarette. Beverly takes it out of his hand  
“Hey!” Richie yelps  
“How are you holding up?” Bev cuts to the chase   
“Spiffy! Just marvelous!” The awful british accent rings out.   
“Rich, seriously.”  
He walks over and sits down on the front porch.   
“I’ve been better...”  
“At least you have the only decent parents in Derry?”  
“Oh yeah! They’re keeping me home for a couple days.” Richie laughs  
“Not like you need to go anyway Mr Smart ass” Beverly sticks her tongue out.   
“Yeah, yeah, being top of the class isn’t easy.” The wink he gives her is ridiculous and over exaggerated. 

THE LOSERS CLUB™️

3:56 AM

Rich The Bitch: You know those Vodka popsicle things?  
That Bitch Bev: Yeah!  
Eds: oh, Now you’re talking to us?  
[Rich The Bitch changed Eds name to Gremlin]  
Rich the Bitch: when did I stop?  
Gremlin: All day  
Gremlin: you haven’t been answering your phone  
[Gremlin changed their name to eddie]  
Staniel: Eddie, stop.  
[Rich the Bitch changed Staniels name to Stan the man]  
Stan the man: I’ll let it slide once.   
Gremlin: Why should I? I’m not the one who ditched his friends without a word  
Rich the Bitch: Jeez Eds  
Rich the Bitch: next time I’ll just let Bowers beat me to a pulp  
Gremlin: Not my name and it would only help your looks  
Rich the Bitch: Fuck off Eddie. 

Best Bros  
4:20 AM

Stan the man: Are you okay?  
[Trash changed Stan the mans name to Bird man]  
Trash: Never been better ol’ chap!  
Bird man: you don’t have to lie..  
Trash: Pick up the call

*call started at 4:30 AM*

“Richie, Please talk to me” Stan pleads  
“Ok! Ok! It’s just... He doesn’t fucking get it, he really thinks I would just leave you guys? Do I come off that shallow?!”  
“No. He’s Eddie, he’s over dramatic”  
Richie sighs “yeah, you’re right.”  
“Hey rich?”  
“Staniel?”  
“I’m... Bi.”  
“Wowza Good fellow! Let me guess, it’s Bill?”  
“How- Yeah.” All the fight leaves Stanley’s voice   
“It’ll be okay.”  
“Yeah, thanks Rich.”

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
6:30 AM

That Bitch Bev: How did the core four meet?  
Rich the Bitch: FINALLY!  
Stan the Man: Richie, start.   
Boss Bitch Billiam: Weve waited so long.  
Gremlin: Oh no  
[Gremlin changed their name to Eddie]  
Rich the Bitch: first day of kindergarten! I got dropped off at school. I walked to the playground.   
Stan the Man: I was sitting on the swings.   
Rich the Bitch: I came over and pushed him off the swing, but then I helped him up, and said “Hi I’m Richie, you’re backpack is awesome! All those birds!”  
Stan the man: We talked about birds for four minutes, and have been best friends ever since.  
Boss Bitch Billiam: I was practicing tongue twisters on the way to the benches   
Eddie: I walked over and asked if he was cold because he was stuttering.   
Boss bitch Billiam: Richie was my neighbor so I sort of knew him,   
Rich the Bitch: I dragged Stan over and laughed at Bills stutter.   
Stan the man: I elbowed him in the gut.   
Eddie: I yelled at Richie for being ignorant.   
Boss Bitch Bill: I called a “Bug eyed trash head bigmouth”  
Stan the man: We were all silent, Richie started laughing.   
Rich the Bitch: I said “I’m the trashmouth you crackerjack!”  
Eddie: I sprayed hand sanitizer in his mouth because he said it was trash  
Boss Bitch Billiam: the bell rang, we walked into class, and sat at the same table.   
Mikey: Wow.   
Haystack: That’s definitely something  
That Bitch Bev: I was expecting something like “Richie called us fuckers”  
Boss Bitch Billiam: Crackerjack.   
Rich the Bitch: I was five. Whatd you expect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure what I’m doing... so yeah, leave feedback if you want please? XD  
> <3


	5. Mean girls attack! (Bonus chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda random, but I had to add it

Richie woke up to Maggie staring at him.  
He groaned “Mom?! What the fu-“  
“Language, Richard.” She warned  
“Sure, but what are you doing?”  
“I have to ask, how long have you known?”  
Oh shit, that’s the question.  
“I... Uh.. The summer before eighth grade...”  
“Who?”  
“Mom!”  
“Sorry, sorry, I love you Richie Okay?” She speaks softly, like she’s comforting a wounded animal.  
“Yeah! Hey mom? I know you always wanted a daughter and shit, but... do you want to do our nails?”  
Maggie hugs him and they head downstairs, taking Her nail polish out of the cabinet.

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
7:30 PM

Rich the Bitch: [Itstooemo.png]  
[Rich the Bitch changed their name to Regina]  
That Bitch Bev: All black nails? Really Richard?  
[That Bitch Bev changed their name to Gretchen]  
Regina: Yes, Beaverly!  
Gretchen: whatever you say Bucky beaver.  
Stan The Man: Seriously?  
[Stan the man changed their name to Stan]  
Regina: Yes Stanthony!  
Eddie: Richie, That’s gay.  
Regina: Is this new information to you?  
[Boss Bitch Billiam changed their name to Janice]  
Gretchen: OH MY GOD KAREN YOU CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEYRE WHITE!  
[Karen changed Stans name to Cady]  
[Regina changed their name to Damien]  
Damien: It is done.  
Janice: This is Damien, he’s almost too gay to function.  
Eddie: What is happening?  
Eddie: oh, mean girls.  
[Damien changed Eddies name to Regina]  
Mikey: oh no...  
[Mikey changed their name to Kevin]  
[Damien changed Haystacks name to Karen]  
Karen: why...  
Damien: she can predict the weather!  
Gretchen: incorrectly.  
Janice: why am I- wait.  
[Janice changed Gretchens name to Janice]  
[Janice changed their name to Gretchen]  
[Karen changed Kevin’s name to Karen]  
[Karen changed Their name to Kevin]  
Damien: now that that’s settled... Ben is Kevin, and Bev is Janice? I can’t keep track.  
Gretchen: I am Stanley, they are them.  
Damien: ok then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are making my day, most of the time I don’t know what goes on inside my head, so the fact that people actually enjoy this blows my mind, thanks


	6. Confused yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the actual fuck just happened?”
> 
> No one knows.
> 
> These kids need to get their shit together.  
> It’s painful to write, I’m sorry for your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re reading this, you’re awesome.

Best Bro’s

Bird Man: Talk. To. Him.   
Trash: Who? What where? I don’t know what you’re talking about.   
Bird Man: Richie.   
Trash: Fine!   
Trash: Only because your typing is threatening   
Bird Man: thank you. 

Gazebos are Bullshit

Chee: Hey... Eds?  
Eds: Richie! What the fuck!  
Chee: I’m sorry ok?  
Eds: sure, but why?  
Chee: it’s not important. Just know that I’m sorry and you’re still my best friend.   
Eds: okay... thanks, you’re mine too. Besides Bill ofc  
Chee: I know.  
Eds: yeah..?  
[Chee read at 9:00]

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
3:45 AM 

Damien: Would any of you believe me If I said I was in like with someone?  
Gretchen: ?????  
Janice: ARE YOU FINALLY SHARING?!  
Cady: Yes.  
Kevin: if it’s E**** then yes  
Karen: Richard, tell us who it is  
Regina: No way  
Damien: I have this huge crush on someone...  
Regina: who?  
Damien: your mom, duh, mrs K and I goin on strong.   
Cady: Richie, no. Do we know this person?  
Damien: ...Yes, but fuck you stanley, you already know.   
Janice: SO- YOU TOLD STAN TOO?  
Damien: yes, sorry   
Regina: what happened to being best friends? Why don’t you tell me this stuff?  
Damien: what happened to fucking bill?  
Gretchen: 3: what about me?  
Regina: You’re my best friend  
Gretchen: <3  
Damien: aww. gay.  
Kevin: we know the person?  
Karen: Are they one of the losers?  
Damien: yeah.  
Regina: not gay. god damnit Richie! Is it stanley?!   
Gretchen: Stan...?  
Damien: Hell no!   
Cady: I have standards   
Damien: anyway, It’s not important and yeah so yeah idk why I mentioned it Uh, yeah  
Cady: Why do you do this to yourself? Quarry. Ten minutes.   
Damien: Fine.  
Regina: Fuck you  
Damien: what is your fucking problem  
Regina: my fucking problem? What?

The Boys  
Eddie: Who does he like?!  
Stanley: It’s not my secret to tell  
Eddie: please  
Stanley: no  
Eddie: please  
Stanley: no  
Eddie: fuck you

Angry Bitch Children  
Bitchard: there’s no point, he not gay, and there’s no way in hell he would ever like me  
Bitchverly: That’s it. I’m forcing something to happen between you guys   
Father Stanley: It will be fine, Richie it’s obvious he cares   
[Bitchard is offline]

Fuck fuck fuck repeats in Richies mind as he rides to the quarry   
“RICHIE! TRUTH OR DARE!” Bev shouts when he’s within hearing range   
“Dare.” He says in reply   
If this is her plan she better up her game, no way am I picking truth  
“I dare you to not tell a lie all day”  
“Easy. And fuck you”  
Nailed that.  
“Stan, truth or dare?” Richie asks innocently   
“Truth” Stan says after a pause.   
“Are you ever going to tell the person you like that you like them?”   
“I plan on it.”   
Stanley, as Wise as ever, The bird fucker could be a wizard   
Richie laughs at his thoughts, and is brought back to reality by Eddies voice. 

“Uh... Truth?”   
“Good, good,” Stan rubs his hands together “Have you ever thought of kissing one of the losers?”  
Eddie flushes bright red “...yes...”  
“Wow, Eddie spaghetti thinks dirty? Should’ve known with some of the stuff Mrs K gets at whe-“ Richie starts  
“BEEP BEEP” Rings out among the losers   
“Fine asshole, truth or dare?” Eddie asks with a smirk   
It’s Eddie so... no real damage can be done right?   
He shrugs, “Truth.”  
Eddie raises an eyebrow   
Oh shit- what if- doesn’t matter.  
“Who’s your crush?”   
Damnit. He asked.   
“Uh- Looks like I have to go see what that-“   
No lies.   
“Rock is doing down by the water!”   
The excuse leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but it doesn’t. Fucking. Matter.   
“A rock?” Eddie asks skeptically “that’s a terrible reason. Just tell us who it is!”  
Richie takes a step back  
“I- I can’t. Ok, I can’t risk it.”   
C-c-come s-sit back down R-Richie, W-were here fo-for yuh-yo-you.” Bill states   
“Whatever! I like... Eddie! Now leave me alone please!”

Richies room is dark, the music is loud, the pain is just as bad as ever.   
He hates me... he has too!  
But then again... he’s Eddie?  
“Fuck it.” He mumbles when the phone rings for the seventh time that hour.   
Richie picks up.   
“Richie! Thank god! Are you ok?!” Eddies voice screams   
“Yeah! I’m fine- ow- eds- loud.”  
“Don’t call me that, and I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. Angelic screeching is always a delight”  
“Beep beep asshole”  
“So why’d you call?”  
“I Uh.... I’m sorry, I reacted poorly to.. well... Everything?”   
Eddies voice shakes with so much uncertainty that Richie laughs, just a little.  
“It’s ok, honestly, I expected worse”  
“you shouldn’t expect worse from your friends though.”  
“Why can’t I expect the worst from everyone and leave it at that?”  
“Uh, Richie, seriously. That’s not a good way to live life.”  
“So? When do I ever do the ‘good’ way for anything?”  
“You are so stupid sometimes.”  
“That’s not what your mom said-“  
“Beep beep, Asshole.”  
“So why’d you call.”  
“I- Uh... To check... on you?”  
“Right.”  
Another voice from Eddies side of the phone screeches “EDDIE BEAR!”  
“Oh. Bye Rich, my moms home. I’m glad you’re okay”  
“Bye Eds!”  
“Not my name!”  
The call ends and there’s a beep.  
What the actual fuck just happened?  
“Richie! Dinner!” Maggie shouts   
“Coming mom!”


	7. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what i’m doing anymore but yeah, a little bit of angst goes a LOONG WAY

Best Bro’s  
7:30

Trash: stan  
trash: stanley  
Trash: StAn!  
trash: Stanley  
Trash: Stan the Man!  
Trash: Stanny the Manny  
Bird Man: Jesus christ, Richie!  
Trash: You don’t believe in jesus, and i need help  
Bird Man: With?  
Trash: so  
Trash: Eddie called me and it was weird because he apologized for “reacting poorly” it was one of the most awkward calls i’ve been on so yeah and now i’m freaking out because i don’t know what to fucking do help me!  
Bird Man: Firstly, there was no punctuation, but i think i get the gist, Richie, you may be endlessly annoying, and your glasses make you look like a bug, But the Losers love you, and i’m almost certain Eddie LIKES you.  
Trash: likes me.  
Bird man: Yes, go get your mans.  
Trash: you first  
Bird Man: Touché 

THE LOSERS CLUB™️  
[Damien changed the chat name to LOSERS]  
[Damien changed their name to Garbage]  
[garbage changed Reginas name to Eds]  
[Garbage changed their name to Rosemary]  
[Rosemary changed Janices name to Beaverly]  
[Rosemary changed Kevin’s name to Ben is jam in]  
Eds: rich, what’s with the name?  
Rosemary: My mom.  
[Rosemary changed their name to Trashmouth]  
[Gretchen changed their name to BILL]  
Bill: hey guys, i’m bisexual.  
Trashmouth: Congratulations  
[Cady changed their name to Stan]  
Stan: if that’s what going on... I’m Pan  
Trashmouth: last time we spoketh i believe you said bi A+ for self discovery [Trashmouth changed Stans name to Stan The Pan]  
[Trashmouth changed Karen’s name to Farm Boy]  
Trashmouth: 3/7? anyone else? might as well talk  
Beaverly: actually, i’m bi too

Bankruptcy  
Billiam: Tell them!!!!!!!!!!  
Eddie Spaghetti: fine. why is this chat Richie nicknames now?  
Billiam: idk

LOSERS  
Eds: I’m gay  
Eds: ONLY A LITTLE BIT  
Trashmouth: im fairly certain that’s not how it works.  
Beaverly: JAHEUQVH Good for you eddie!  
Trashmouth: ugly ass keysmash  
stanley: 5/7 is a bit strange  
Trashmouth: bye bitches, i have homework  
RICHIE SUPPORT GROUP  
Eddie: guys, he’s acting weird...  
Stanley: I agree.  
Beverly: when does he ever do his homework?  
Bill: it’s not like him...  
Mike: I’ll ask him what’s up  
Ben: i’ll make cookies!

BEST BROS  
bird man: i’ll tell him.  
Trash: good luck.  
Bird man: Richie, what’s wrong? where are you?  
Trash: Nothing and nowhere  
Bird Man: Bowers?  
Trash: Partially.  
Trash: my moms been out of it lately, got fired, started back on the alcohol, my dads on a business trip, Bowers and Hocksetter have scarred me emotionally more than usual. 

RICHIE SUPPORT GROUP  
Stan: [Sends screenshots of Richies messages]  
Eddie: Damn... Guys, can i tell you something? BUT IF YOU TELL RICHIE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE GOING TO BE SIX FEET UNDER WITH BOILING WATER POURED ALL OVER YOUR BODIES  
Beverly: Spill the tea  
Stan: Noted  
Bill: yes eddie!  
Mike: were here for you  
Ben: your secret is safe  
Eddie: i love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback please!  
> constructive criticism, or plain criticism please! Be as mean as you want because i know this sucks <3


	8. Dun dun dunnnnnnn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddies Pov? Why not. OOC? Yes. BUT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?  
> Yes. I am disappointed.
> 
> The Paul Bunyan statue looks like adult Ben.

LOSERS

Trashmouth: you’re all online.  
Trashmouth: where’d you gooooo  
Trashmouth: Fuck it.  
Trashmouth: there’s a reason ignore is in ignorance!  
Stan the Pan: There’s a reason ‘trash’ is in Trashmouth   
Trashmouth: Yay! Stanothy!  
Beaverly: Haha! That’s a good one  
Trashmouth: My besties!   
Stan the Pan: No.  
BILL: Stan, we all know he’s your best friend   
Stan The Pan: ....You have no proof  
Trashmouth: *screenshot of the “Best Bros” chat*  
Beaverly: second place to Stan... wow.  
Trashmouth: you’re actually third :D  
Eds: What is happening?  
Stan the Pan: whos first?  
Trashmouth: not you.  
Stan the Pan: I see.  
Beaverly: RICHARD SAY IT!!!  
Eds: ?  
BILL: If #1 is who I think it is then just say it  
Trashmouth: everyone knows I have a big ass crush, why must I say who it is?  
Stan the Pan: Richard, he wont hate you  
Trashmouth: Two words for you Stanny,  
Trashmouth: INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA  
Stan the Pan: Fine, ill tell him  
Trashmouth: NO!  
Eds: whos him?  
Trashmouth: you  
*eds is typing*  
Trashmouth: r mom!  
Eds: Beep beep, Asshole.

BANKRUPTCY   
Eddie spaghetti: I had hope... for about four seconds.  
Billiam: Tell him?

SMOKING BUDDIES  
Bev: You were so close!  
Rich: ....Whatever.  
Bev: Please, Tell him, Richie?  
Rich: Fine! Ok! Fine! I will!  
Bev: Thank you.

BEEP BEEP  
Beepee: Eds?  
Beeper: I don’t have time for this richie   
Beepee: Meet me at the the Paul Statue  
Beeper: Fine.

Eddie arrives at the Paul Bunyan statue before Richie, he sits at its base, only freaking out A LITTLE BIT!  
Just a little. Right? Why is he talking to me and not Stan? Or Beverly?!  
“Hey Eds!” Interrupts his thoughts  
“Richie?” He replies  
“You’re here early.” Richie states  
“It’s not early if we never set a time.”  
Richie sits down next to Eddie  
“Look, I... wanted to tell you... something important?” Richies nerves are unmistakable, especially when he stands up, walks a few feet away, and and stares at his shoes, fidgeting with a leaf.  
“Richie..?” Eddie asks in a quiet voice  
“Look,” The trashmouth starts. “I like you... a lot...”  
Eddie smiles. “wow Tozier, you really know how to keep a guy on his toes.”  
Richie raises an eyebrow, “bad pun, and how so?”  
“God, Richie! I’ve lo- Liked you since we were fifteen!”  
“In that case, I can do you three better. Twelve.”  
“Damn..”  
Eddie stares at Richies hair, wanting to avoid eye contact, and all of a sudden Richies lips come crashing onto his, it takes a few seconds for him to realize what’s happening, and he finally reciprocates, pulling himself closer and running his fingers through Richies hair.   
Heat rushes through the lower half of Eddies body and he slides his hand down from Richies chest, lower, lower, and then everything is cut short, Richie grabs his wrist and pulls away. Eddie pouts and scrunches his eyebrows.  
“Eds, were in the middle of Derry.” Richie says while shaking his head  
Eddie ponders that, it just doesn’t seem like Richie understands how badly he WANTS him, or maybe he does, because while Eddie is thinking Richie grabs his hand and pulls him towards the Toziers place. The thought of germs enters Eddies mind, and for once, he’s able to push that fear aside, or more accurately, the thought of RICHIE pushes the fear away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben totally stole Bills flannels, there’s no changing my mind.


	9. The fuck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fuck just happened? Richie thinks.  
> Basically describes everything abt this chapter XD

Richie woke up with Eddie next to him, well, next to him is an understatement.  
His left arm was behind Eddies head, and his right covered the smaller boy, who was peacefully asleep in his embrace, Richie shifted and Eddie snuggled closer, Richie played with his hair while he waited for him to wake up.  
“Richie?” Eddie mumbled after a while.  
“Hey, Eds.”  
“Good morning.” Eddie fights the internal battle of ‘did I really do that? My mother is going to kill me. I actually enjoyed it. That’s wrong... I don’t care? Diseases?’  
Eddie rolls over and looks into Richies eyes.   
Richie stands up and moves to sit on the edge of the bed.   
“Yeah, uh, Rich?” Eddie starts.   
“I’m sorry!” The boy with glasses blurts.  
It’s Eddie after all.  
“S-sorry? Richard Tozier, you don’t have anything to apologize for.  
“Uh well I’m apologizing anywa-“  
“Don’t interrupt me! As I was saying, you don’t have to apologize because I’m not mad! Jesus fucking Christ, you- we- it was fun, and I’m glad, Richie, I’m terrified. We did... That... and it’s scary, however, I’m in love with you, and that minimizes my fears by a lot.” Eddie manages to say In one breath.  
Richie taps his fingers on the edge of the bed silently.  
“I’m done, asshole. You can talk now.”   
“Ah, thank you spaghetti, i was worried that if I tried to talk” Richie winks, “you’d snap at me again.”   
“Haha.”   
Richie notes that Eddie is actually angry, so he sighs, “Eds... I have loved you for as long as I can remember.”  
Eddie blinks before launching himself at Richie, Who smirks into the kiss.  
“I love you.” The smaller boy whispers.  
Richie pulls him farther into the embrace.  
(This was sunday)

LOSERS  
Monday 7:30 AM  
Trashmouth: Question five on the AP algebra is C.  
Stan the Pan: You’re my savior.  
Trashmouth: It took a while.  
Bill: ...I got d.  
Beaverly: HaHa! You guys have ap algebra!  
Trashmouth: algebra english social studies and trigonometry   
Stan the Pan: Starring, No punctuation!  
Eds: Beverly... You’re in all of his classes???  
Beaverly: ...  
Ben is jam in: AP classes are fun!   
Trashmouth: Ben is jam in to new kids on the block, No. they are not fun. They are easy and waste of time.  
Mikey: i always forget hes the smartest one here  
Stan the Pan: Story of my life  
Trashmouth: I TAKE HER HOME, I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO KEEP HER WARM AND TIME IS FROZEN, MRSSSSS K!  
Eds: beep beep, asshat   
Beaverly: You joke about fucking mothers, but we all know you’re a virgin richard  
Trashmouth: actually...  
Eds: That’s disgusting.  
Stan the Pan: Who would want to fuck you?  
BILL: Richies a bottom???  
Trashmouth: What did you expect? :(  
Beaverly: WHO TOOK MY HUSBANDS VIRGINITY???  
Trashmouth: My platonic wife is better than all yours!  
Ben is jam in: When?  
Trashmouth: sunday.  
Stan the Pan: Yesterday!?

BEEP BEEP  
Beeper: Richie, istfg   
Beepee: I’m sorry! Your mom won’t find out.   
Beeper: Right...   
Beeper: <3

LOSERS  
Eds: When the parental figures are away, the irresponsible children will “play”  
BILL: wait- EDDIES A TOP?!  
Stan the Pan: Bills a switch.  
Trashmouth: Stan the fucking man?  
BILL: FANSHWFIAGW  
Ben is Jam in: who here is still a virgin?  
Mikey: ...  
(FYI The events of the book never happened, because I really hate book Bev, so this is blood oath style)   
Trashmouth: Ben the innocent Token Het, asking adult questions? Is this real??  
Beaverly: Ben, honey, kink, I love you, but please stay away from that question?  
Trashmouth: Ben is kink? You poor girl, with a naughty, naughty, father  
Stan the Pan: BEEP BEEP  
Eds: BEEP BEEP  
BILL:BEEP BEEP  
Ben is jam in: BEEP BEEP  
Mikey: Beep Beep.  
Beaverly: ahehaiegiqvs I love you husband   
Trashmouth: beep beep yourselves! Ilyt bevvy, now about that “Ben, honey, kink”  
Beaverly: IT AUTOCORRECTED LOML   
Trashmouth: Based on current events “kink” isn’t wrong either.  
Eds: Beep fucking beep  
Ben is jam in: Get yo butts to class  
Trashmouth: This is comedy gold.  
Ben: Butt  
Normal people: ASS  
Small children: why are you a donkey?

“TOZIER!” Mrs Marza screeches as he walks into class late.  
“Ever so sorry Mars-y” Richie says while taking his seat in the back of the class.  
Beverly snorts, from next to him, and Eddie turns around from the seat in front.  
“Idiot.” He whispers  
Mrs Marza continues, “DETENTION! After school!”   
“Uh, I already have after school detention with you?” Richie adds, “from last week?”  
Beverly lights a cigarette, detention with Richie is always a show, so she might as well tag along.   
“Miss marsh, detention!”  
Stan shakes his head from the front of the class, while Bill laughs.   
“wait mrs Marza? Can I come too?” Ben asks.   
“Why not!”  
Henry bowers laughs, “Just give all the Losers detention!”  
Mike glares at him.  
“Some people actually do their work, unlike you, so if anything, you should be the one in detention this afternoon.” Stan states.   
“Detention, Stanley, no blurting! Detention for you too Mr Bowers!”  
Mike and Bill sit still, and Mrs Marzas glare finds them, “you boys look like trouble, detention.”  
Eddie sits up straight in his chair, all of his friends now? Damnit.  
“Mrs Marza?” He starts.  
“Yes, Eddie?”  
“Uh... Why did Bill and Mike get detention? They didn’t do anything, giving them detention pointless, if anything it will make them act out more and then you will have more trouble to deal with.” He puffs his inhaler.  
“That’s detention, however, I appreciate your concern.”  
The fuck just happened? Richie thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea how to get them all in detention with Bowers, so this happened


	10. F-slur warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos and confusion just about sums it up

“YOU BETTER RUN FAGGOTS!”  
The losers run away from the school, detention went awfully, Henry threw a fit, and when they were dismissed the Bowers gang was waiting outside to jump the Lucky 7.  
“You got yourself in detention! Don’t blame us for your miserable life!” Richie yells back.  
That’s the moment when he trips over a rock, and lays a dramatic hand to his forehead, “Forget about me, go on! Farewell fuckers!”  
Beverly laughs, and Stan scoffs   
“Fuck you, Richie!” Eddie yelps   
“Gotcha!” Henry cries and he lifts Richie up by the collar of his shirt.  
“Your breath smells so fucking bad, Jesus, brush your teeth!” Richie retorts, earning a good, solid punch in the jaw. To which he kicks Henry in the crotch.  
Henry doubles over, dropping Richie, and swinging wildly, he hits Richie in the back of the neck.   
“Ooh, yeah, just like that! Hit me harder daddy!”   
Henry gags  
“Wait, no, save that for Patrick!” Richie winks, and gets thrown to the ground.  
Patrick takes that as his cue to cut a thin line, above Richies eyebrow, take his glasses, and step on them.   
“Shit, I’m a tad bit blind, farewell good fellows! I best be going!” Richie rolls, stands up, and sprints off in the direction his friends ran In.  
~  
“Richie, you can’t go around calling people ‘Daddy’ all the time” Stan scoffs, fighting a laugh.  
“I had to bring up Patrick somehow!”   
“Richie, STOP MOVING” Eddie glares at him, “Do you want the scratches to get   
Infected?!”  
Richie shrugs, “It’s not a matter of ‘want’ it’s more of a ‘I get hurt all the time anyway, it doesn’t really matter anymore,’ Dr K.”  
“You’re a legend, Richie Tozier!” Beverly yells as she climbs down into the clubhouse.  
“Only the best, for Miss Marsh!”   
“It was quality entertainment! Who can keep a straight face while they’re saying ‘Hit me harder daddy!’ To HENRY FUCKING BOWERS!” The whole clubhouse bursts out laughing.  
“Beverly! Where were you!” Ben asks worriedly.  
“Hiding, in the bushes. Watching Richies show.”  
Beverly continues to reenact what she saw, Patrick’s face, Richie seemingly unfazed, and scrambling away.  
“Ten bucks they do more than talk.” Richie bets.  
“Richard!” Eddie yelps.  
“You’re on!” Beverly answers.  
“Bev, you know he’s going to win, stop betting against him.” Ben says sweetly.  
“Don’t tell me what to do, New kid”  
“Um... That’s... all for today, thanks Eds!” Richie cuts in, Taking Beverlys arm and dragging her out of the clubhouse.  
“What just happened?” Eddie asks the remaining losers.  
Ben stares at the corner, ben shakes his head, and stanley raises an eyebrow.  
“Richie proved that he’s a good friend, Beverly is in a mood, Ben is butthurt, and Bill is surprised by Beverlys outburst, and we all know Beverly loves Ben, but because of Her father she has problems with authority.” Stan analyzes.  
~  
“Bev, what happened?” Richie asks.  
“I- It’s been a rough day... my dad... this morning...” she starts to cry.  
“Oh!” His eyes widen, “Beverly! I’m sorry!”  
“It’s nothing, well, it is something. He was just so much worse today. Moms perfume... he was drunk, I got away, and ran to meet you guys.”  
Richie lights a cigarette and hands it to her, she takes a breath, and gives it back.  
They sit in comfortable silence until it runs out, then they make their way back into the clubhouse.  
“Are you okay, Bev?” Ben asks.  
Her eyes are still red and puffy when she sits down next to Ben.   
“I’m alright now, it was just my dad.”  
The silence is deafening.  
“So...hows Mrs K?” Richie asks nervously.  
“Beep beep, Asshole!” Eddie responds, automatically.  
“Beep beep yourself.”   
“The whole point of Beep beep is to get you to shut up!”  
“What if I don’t want to shut up!”  
“Beep beep!”  
“Haha! Nice try!”  
“Asshole!”  
Richie snorts. “Eds!”  
“Not my name!”  
“Eddie spaghetti!”  
“Beep beep!”  
“Eduardo!”  
“Beep beep!”  
“Edward spaghedward!”  
“Beep beep! You’re an idiot!”  
“GUYS! BREAK IT UP!” Stanley yells.  
Richie winks, “the silence was unbearable.”  
“You’re u-u-u-unbearable” Bill gets out.  
Richie gives a very exaggerated pout.  
“He’s not wrong.” Eddie smirks.  
“You wound me Eds!”  
“I know.” Eddie kisses him lightly, and pulls away.  
“Tease.” Richies whines.  
Eddie puts his head on the Trashmouth shoulder. “Thaaaats me.”  
“AWWWWE! You guys are so cute!” Bev shrieks.  
The boys blush.  
“Thanks for the vote of Confidence, wifey.”  
Richie says.  
The group rolls there eyes, and Beverly smiles.


	11. I forgot about it and now i gotta write more. smh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D A M N T H I S W H O L E F I C S E E M S R U S H E D

**Best Bros:**

Rich: WE NEED TO WATCH TFIOS AGAIN

Stan: You know how you get when you read/watch sad things

Rich: were gonna do it anyways!

Stan: fine, im omw 

Rich: ILY BD

Richie hears a knock on the door. 

"Rosemary, Can you get that for me?" his mothers slurs.

The boy in question winces a little; :"yeah, yeah. Its Stanley anyways." he opens the door "STAN THE MAN!"

"Richard, i brought popcorn and ice cream."

"this is why youre my favorite." Richie leads his best friend upstairs where they make a pillow fort in the lounge, make popcorn, eat ice cream, and cry at Augustus Waters who they both deemed 'the love of their life'

**THE LOSERS CLUB:**

trashmouth: HES DEAD

trashmouth: SO DEAD

Bev: aw bby who died?

Bev: youre not watching tfios with stan again r u?

trashmouth: [StansobbinginfrontofapausedTVscreenatGus'sFuneral.png]

Bev: IM COMING WITH THE LASAGNA AND SPARKLING WATER

trashmouth: loml 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suck. if you made it this far, i thank you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to SELF PROJECT
> 
> with some shots, a hint of irrational fear, maybe an injury or two-
> 
> dont mind teh names. they change sometimes.

**THE LOSERS CLUBtm**

trashmouth: i- i stepped on a stingray-

Ive never heard of placebos: W H A T?

ive never heard of placebos: THOSE ARE VENEMOUS AND CAN GIVE YOU TETANIS 

trashmouth: lololol ik

Birb: its true. i was there.

billiam: thats incherchesting

bev: what-

Jesus Take the Wheel: rich why-

ben is jam in: Mike what is that name?

bev: BENNY <333333333333333333333333

ben is jam in: BEVVVVVVV <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

trashmouth: back to me. im sitting on the beach and it WONT STOP BLEEDING

Birb: hes sobbing- its hilarious- 

(for the record stingrays HURT but i refused to cry when i got stung because my cousins were there- tEeHEe)

jesus take the wheel: suck it out.

**Author's Note:**

> uhm so- anyways-


End file.
